Is it normal to feel conflicted about using an egg donor?

Yes. Many intended parents feel a mix of hope, grief, clarity, and uncertainty when considering an egg donor. These emotions are a normal part of the decision-making process, and most families arrive at egg donation gradually rather than in a single moment. Feeling conflicted does not mean you’re unready. It means you’re thoughtfully processing a deeply personal decision.

For many intended parents, the decision to explore egg donation doesn’t arrive all at once. It comes slowly, after months or years of hoping, trying, reassessing, and gathering the courage to consider what comes next.

If you’re finding yourself here, especially at the start of a new year, you may be carrying a mix of emotions that feel confusing or even contradictory. Hope and grief. Relief and uncertainty. Clarity one day, doubt the next.

We want you to know this first and foremost: everything you’re feeling is normal.

Wavering Isn’t a Sign of Uncertainty. It’s Part of the Process

One of the most common things we hear during initial conversations with intended parents is, “I thought I’d feel more sure by now.” But certainty rarely arrives in a single, decisive moment.

Most people move back and forth between emotions (hope, grief, clarity, hesitation) as they process what egg donation could mean for their family. There is no “right” timeline for acceptance, and no correct emotional order to follow.

Arriving at egg donation is not a single decision point. It’s a gradual, deeply personal journey. Taking time to sit with your feelings doesn’t mean you’re stuck. It means you’re being thoughtful and intentional.

Choosing an Egg Donor Doesn’t Erase Your Story, It Expands It

Many intended parents quietly worry that choosing an egg donor means letting go of the family they imagined. In reality, egg donation doesn’t replace your dream…it continues it.

Your story still matters. Your values, your love, your experiences, and the life you create will shape your child in profound ways. Biology is only one piece of a much larger whole.

Using an egg donor isn’t the end of your journey. It’s another way forward. One that allows you to keep building the family you’ve been working toward all along.

Grief and Hope Can (and Often Do) Exist Together

It’s possible to feel excited about what’s ahead while still mourning what didn’t unfold as planned. These emotions are not mutually exclusive, and neither one cancels out the other.

You don’t have to “be over” your grief to move forward. You don’t have to choose between honoring your feelings and embracing hope. Many intended parents do both at the same time.

Feeling the sting of loss doesn’t mean you aren’t ready. It means you care deeply, and that care is part of what will make you a loving, thoughtful parent.

Feeling Alone Is Common, but You Aren’t Alone

Egg donation can feel isolating, especially if friends or family don’t fully understand the emotional complexity of the decision. Many people assume they’re the only ones wrestling with these thoughts.

They aren’t.

Thousands of families have walked this exact path, quietly asking the same questions, feeling the same doubts, and ultimately finding clarity in their own time. At TLC, we meet intended parents where they are, offering support, perspective, and steady guidance through every phase of the process.

You don’t have to carry this alone, even if it feels that way right now.

You Don’t Need Every Answer to Take the Next Step

One of the biggest misconceptions about egg donation is that you need complete emotional certainty before beginning. The truth is, understanding evolves over time.

You don’t need to have everything resolved to start exploring your options. You don’t need to know exactly how you’ll feel months from now. What matters is taking one step at a time, with the right support.

From early uncertainty to final decision-making, we’re here to offer clarity, answer questions, and help you feel grounded, without pressure or expectation.

A New Year, A New Way Forward

If this new year has you reflecting on what’s next, know that wherever you are emotionally is exactly where you’re meant to be. There is no rush. No checklist. No “right” way to feel.

Choosing to explore egg donation is not a sign of giving up. It’s a sign of resilience, courage, and hope. And it’s okay if that hope looks different than you once imagined.

When you’re ready, TLC Donor Services is here to walk alongside you, one conversation, one decision, and one new beginning at a time.